Those who know and love me would describe me as a planner and a control freak. So making risky snap decisions is not something I generally have a reputation for.

However, a in January I quit my job-with no back up plan! I was very unhappy and working crazy hours. I found myself being grumpy, tired, and negative. That's not who I wanted to be and I decided a paycheck wasn't worth turning into a person I didn't like. This was my first big, risky decision in quite a long time and I was scared and excited at the same time.

I quit my job on a Friday. The following Monday my husband walked into work and was told his job was moving to Omaha. If we didn't want to move he would only have a job through March 31st. We were devastated. I felt like I was being punished for making a selfish decision. I have never felt so guilty in my entire life. In this horrible economy I should have just been grateful I had a job, pulled myself up by my bootstraps, stopped being a whiny baby, and stayed at a job I hated. I immediately wrote a retraction of my resignation. I didn't burn any bridges but I was very candid in my resignation about why I was leaving and to turn around and write a retraction was humbling to say the least! They decided not to accept my retraction but to keep me on until they found my replacement.

Since all this happened my husband has been on many interviews and has had a lot of people in his corner. His last day at his job is coming up and he will get some severance that will help us for awhile. I have had some time to come to grips with things. Ultimately, my company decided to eliminate 13 positions and mine was one of them. This helped alleviate some of the guilt

My last day at my job is TODAY. You would think that I would be scared about what is next as my husband and I both are about to be jobless. However, I have this weird since of calm (calm is rarely and adjective used to describe me). Somewhere, deep down inside I know everything is going to be okay. I have been happier the last few weeks than I have been in a long time.

I suppose the practical side of me could say "see what happens when you take a risk? It bites you in the ass!" However, I am choosing (yes, choosing) to look at this in a different way. I have a bad habit of defining myself by what I do for a living and putting everything I have into my work. I want to give the best of me to my friends, family, and the rest of the world and not to my job. When it's all said and done I don't want "One hell of a marketing manager" on my tombstone. I want loving wife, daughter, and friend to be my legacy.

(Cue the dramatic music as I post this, surrender my work laptop, and walk off into the sunset.)





To be continued.....

Labels: jobs