Dear Girl Scouts,

Don't make me come in there!

Back to bed. Back to bed, Now!

Quiet time is nigh time.

I Will turn of your nightlight.

If I have to come in here again the ladybug gets it.

5 4 3 2 1 GOODNIGHT!

It's dark out, lets close our eyes now.

Ladies!!!! Goodnight.

The time for books is done. Go to bed.

Get your heine in bed this instant young lady!

Children are such a delight. Mine have a tendency to be perfect little angels until suddenly! they morph into demon babies with a penchant for loud screams, inappropriate giggling, and a seemingly desperate need to throw flailing limbs in my face's general direction. Their toes must have a magnetic need to clock me in the cheekbone. Mommy totally needs this bruise, y'all.

My husband doesn't beat me! I got this bruise from my toddler's uncalled for fit of rage over who touched "her" apple. MINE. Mine. mine. Ugh. Sometimes, I want to say to her, "Actually Caroline that is Mommy's apple because she paid for it. I am now invoking a tariff on all apple consumption due to Mommy's need for new summer shoes. That small lick of shiny apple skin will now cost you $1.24. Don't worry baby, Mommy will take it out of your allowance, 'cause she's nice like that. I'll even wave the processing fee. That's love right there."

But I don't 'cause she's three and really, who wants that apple after she licked it anyway?

Labels: Apple Tariffs, Bedtime, Mommyhood makes me Crazy

Around here, Wednesday is also known as Bread Day.

My sister, who some of you know is a baker, recently started(? birthed? created?) a sourdough yeast starter from, um... some grapes? And other things? It's slightly pink, or was, and smells kind of boozy, and she's named it Boy George.

Anyway, now that it's grown to massive proportions (at least for something that started out as some grapes and... flour and... stuff), every Wednesday is baking day for everyone who orders bread. She brings these fantastically fresh, AMAZING-smelling, still-warm loaves to choir practice, so even though we've just come from dinner, we're all starving by the time we get out.

And then I make sandwiches and toast and all kinds of yummy things. I think next week I'm going to get hoagie rolls instead of a loaf, just to mix things up a little. My other sister got those this week, and they looked really good. And I tend to have some left over at the end of the week, since the loaves are pretty big - I need to find a good bread pudding recipe. Time for some experimenting!

Labels: Family

Oh, General Hospital, how I love thee. ABC knows my weakness and exploits it daily. Laundry to do? Nah, let's watch GH. Dishes need to be done? Nah, let's watch GH. Blog to write? Kids to pick up? Dinner to make? Nah, Let's watch GH.

I've been watching this show since I was a tiny tot. I remember watching it when I was home from school sick. I remember the first time Jonathon Jackson was on the show as Lucky. I remember when Carly first came to Port Charles, when Micheal was born, when Lily died, when Robin got HIV. I miss Georgie. I want Dillon to come home. I want Laura to stay. I want Scott to disappear for good. I want Brenda back and to stay away from Jax.

Can you tell I'm obsessed with this show? I love that I don't have to arrange my schedule to watch it anymore. Between SoapNet and Hulu.com I can watch it anytime I want. All I need is our new DVR to be delivered to our new address. Then my life will be perfect.

Dante, you'd better be sweet to Lulu or her brothers are gonna beat you up.

Labels: Hulu, Soap Addict

I really wish I had a "before" shot of this weekend's project. You'll just have to picture it in your head.

So on Friday, this room: a) was stacked from front to back with assorted boxes still packed from when we moved in November, bins of craft stuff, and random Christmas decorations; b) had a weird filmy residue on the floor because the dogs kept going in and making messes, which I kept cleaning up with the Swiffer floor cleaner, which just left a soapy scum (better than dog mess, but not much); and c) was unusable as an office/craft room not only because of those things, but because my desk was completely covered in stuff.



This is the result of a Saturday of finding space for boxes/bins in storage and closets, scrubbing the floors Cinderella-style with a vinegar & water solution, and heavy-duty organizing of the crap on my desk.

Only problem once I got all that done was keeping the dogs out - I don't want them messing up my hard-earned clean floor. The doorway's way too wide for a baby gate, so this propped-up table is my temporary solution. It works for now, and we even have our own little rolling-drawers doorway for the humans.

(Oh, and we do have a place for that one remaining box - it's just still there to hold up the table.)

Okay, so in about 30 minutes I leave for my first "wilderness" adventure and by that I mean camping. I am not exactly what you call an earthy girl. I like fancy hotels, pools, and air conditioning. So this is going to be interesting. I have to admit I have been pretty grumpy this week running around town shopping for the best deals on camping gear, getting my car ready, and making what seems like endless trips to hell (aka Walmart).

WHY am I SO fascinated with this commercial? I'm not convinced, though, that it's 100% effective as far as marketing goes, because actually... I don't think it markets pants all that well. In fact, I think it makes marching around pantsless look pretty appealing.

It's entirely possible that I drive my husband nuts marching around the house singing this song.

I wear no pants... I weeeeaaaar no pants... I wear, I wear no pants...

Labels: Advertising Effectiveness, We don't need no pants, YouTube

I am far too tired this evening to think coherently. Sometime around 5pm tired hit me like a ton of bricks. I barely made it through dinner with my eyes open. I got plenty of sleep this weekend and went to bed earlier than normal last night so I don't know whats up. All that being said if this post is all rambly and weird I apologize in advance.

Labels: SERIOUSLY?1?, Skanky Lady

...or not. My car, Barnaby (you may have met him over on my blog), needs new tires. One of them's down to the steel band.

But of course, it can never be as simple as just getting new tires. I took him in for an oil change yesterday, and the guy calls me, "You know you need new tires." "Yes, I do." "Ok, I'll write you up a quote." "Thanks."

I pick up the quote, and he's written up a quote for... 4 new tires (required), alignment (apparently required, although I think we'll see once I get the new tires on), new suspension (apparently required, even though I just had it replaced a year ago), and a new... fuel filter? I think? (not required, just "preventative" - I guess to "prevent" me having too much money in my bank account).

Poor Barnaby. You all know how fond I am of him, but he's reaching the age where he's about to become a big ol' money pit. We're thinking it's probably time to put on some cheap-enough-to-get-me-by-for-a-while tires and start making some plans for the Mom Mobile.

Labels: Barnaby

I am just going to dive right in here because I find this whole story Hilarious (yes, with a capital H). A Catholic church in Oklahoma City has a display of religious art. Seems like a good thing right? It includes a copy of a crucifix hanging in the Vatican. The crucifix in question has one problem. Some people feel that Jesus' man parts are a little too freely displayed and want the crucifix taken down. Other people feel that this is simply Jesus depicted with abs. You be the judge:

Labels: SERIOUSLY?1?, We don't need no pants

It's Here! I'm so excited!!! I can't think about anything else so I've decided that we are going to obsess about it ALL DAY LONG.

Labels: glee, Hulu

My mind has been on this Russian adoption situation this weekend. My heart just breaks for that little boy - can you even imagine, whatever acting out he was doing out of fear that he was going to be rejected and sent back to Russia, then having his worst fears confirmed?

Part of me wants to hear what this woman has to say - I want to know, really, how on earth she could justify abandoning her child like that; a child she worked so hard to be able to adopt, a child she promised to raise and be a mother to. I want to hear, from her own mouth, what she would do if it were her other, biological child who had done the things she said her adopted child had done.

Another part of me doesn't. I don't want this woman to get caught up in the American Publicity machine and become another Richard Heene attention-monster, weeping on Larry King Live about her angst and heartache. She doesn't deserve any more public attention than the mothers that I personally know who have dealt with very similar parenting situations and have managed to stick them out longer than six months - who have, in fact, stuck them out for the long haul, because they never once considered it an option to send their child "back," whether there was a "back" to send them to or not.

The mothers who stick it out, the mothers who say, "This is my child, whom I love, come hell or high water, and this child is my responsibility;" those mothers deserve the publicity. Those mothers deserve the attention and press.

I spent the last few days cleaning my house. Whenever I clean I think of my Grandma Tompson because she was one of the cleanest (and coolest) people I have ever known. Her house was immaculate and organized at all times. My friends consider me a neat freak but I was sub par compared to my Grandma. She passed away in 2008 and I miss her very much.

Here's the deal:

I've been pondering an e-reader for a while, and reading all kinds of reviews and doing all kinds of research. And it seems like the verdict basically comes down to this: The Kindle and the Sony readers are baaasically equivalent, depending on which features are most important to you (how's that for a nutshell?). Sony: Metal casing in multiple colors, bigger screen (depending on the model), no wireless, harder to get files onto it, harder to organize files; Kindle: Wireless, better store, easier navigation, plastic casing, smaller screen.

And then comes the iPad, which I start hearing is, like, the ultimate e-reader ever. But, you know, expensive. And I think, could it possibly be worth that much more?

Well, last night we went to Best Buy just to poke around because we were out running errands, and they happened to have a Sony reader display set up right inside the door. Yay! I could try them out! Well, the one I really wanted to try out was broken-ish. Strike one. It was on, and had a screensaver that said "Touch screen to get to Home screen", but no amount of touching or button-pushing would pull up a Home screen or any other screen. Oh well, I tried the other reader just to see what it was like.

It was kind of frustrating. Not bad, once I figured it out, but there were a few bugs that I found right off the bat. Some issues with changing the font (I'd make it smaller - which took three button pushes - then turn the page and it'd go back to the bigger size and I'd have to make it smaller again), and the file organization wasn't very intuitive.

After I got tired of playing, we wandered back to the Apple display, where they had some iPads set up. And, note to Best Buy - setting up all of your display iPads with ONLY crappy-looking iPhone apps? Not the best use of your display. Seriously. Fortunately, some over-eager geek next to me heard me whining that they hadn't even installed the free (free!) iBooks app and did some magic with a made-up iTunes account to install it for me so I could try it out (thanks, over-eager geek - Best Buy Customer Service should hire you). And OMG. It's like... magic. It's like reading a real book, on a slim little screen that fits so nicely in your hands, with gorgeous full-color pictures... Winnie the Pooh comes pre-installed in it, and all of those classic illustrations just looked GORGEOUS.

The organization system is SO simple and makes SO much sense - it's just like using Delicious Library, which I've been using at home for years, and when you want to visit the store, the bookshelf swings around like something out of an old mystery movie to take you to an extremely easy-to-use storefront. It took me about half a second to download a free 100-page demo of a Stephen King book to flip through.

Oh, and when I couldn't find another book I've been wanting to read? I flipped back to the App Store and downloaded the free Kindle app under my eager geek-friend's iTunes account (lovestinkerbell99@hotmail.com, I'm not judging). It was just as easy to use and opened up access to tens of thousands more books. I'm pretty sure there's a Barnes & Noble app, too, or there should be one soon.

So, back to the question - is it worth spending that much more money for the iPad? The problem now is, would it be worth spending the money on any of the other e-readers? I just don't think I could justify it. I think I'll save my pennies. Or wait for my birthday...

Labels: Kindle

Not long ago Bonnie told me to check at a Sci Fi series she thought I'd like on hulu. Seeing as Bonnie has never lead me in the wrong direction before I decided I absolutely had to check it out.

Labels: Books, Hulu, Kindle, The Dresden Files

So, as most of you who know who read the infamous imaginary duck post I have been working on a surprise for Emily's little girls (and I am a little crazy). Thanks to Anna at Knock Off Wood I built each girl their own picnic/craft table.
Never in my life did I think I would own a compound sliding miter saw much less would I consider it a romantic gift. Life's funny that way.

Labels: knock off wood

I was goofing around with Sadie earlier because she was sitting on the other end of the couch ignoring me, so I was calling her by all different names - Sadie-Boo, Sadie Jones, a bunch of others... and then I called her Jenny's last name, and she jumped up and came over, so we decided that she must have secretly eloped with one of Jenny's dogs.

We'll have to congratulate Cisco or Linus next time we see them.

Dear Mr. Steve Jobs,

You are one sneaky little bastard. I have to admit I fell for it. The cool commercials with the indie music. The big fancy staged announcements about innovative new Mac products. I bought it all hook, line, and sinker.

I got an Iphone and it was my gateway drug to the Mac world. I loved it. I still do. Even though there are days when it drops calls constantly I am willing to forgive you for its email and ipod capabilities, and mobile access to facebook, words with friends, and bejeweled.

I figured if I loved this tiny little Mac device I would love an iMac equally as much. It's like an iphone on steroids. You had easy to use programs like itunes, iphoto, and imovie. Plus it was sleek and shiny like the sports car of computers. When I found out it would also run windows using VMWare I was sold. It seemed like a no brainer!

Well, here is the problem MR. JOBS I am typing this on my husbands homemade PC that is 6 years old because my shiny sports car computer doesn't work! My fancy iMac is slow like a Model T-and now it has decided not to work AT ALL.

I put all this time and energy into learning your OS and how to use your annoying mouse and THIS is what I get in return?

Signed,

Ticked off in Texas!

PS-you were supposed to get a post complete with photos about the picnic tables I built for Emily's little girls. Instead you get this because I can't open any photos and Steve Jobs is a big fat marketing genius who sells crappy computers.

This video always makes me laugh. Even on a day that beats you into an oblivion. Beaten, tired and homeless, that's me. Needless to say I went back to Target today.

Do you think there is therapy for that?

Labels: Laughter Needed, Target, YouTube